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One of the most amazing social changes is the rise of online dating and the decline of other ways of meeting a romantic partner.

So it’s no surprise our screens are becoming the first place we turn to when looking for romance — because you need someone to take care of you when you get food poisoning on your vacation, right?

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People filter too much; they’d be better off vetting dates in person.“Online dating is just a vehicle to meet more people,” says the author and dating consultant Laurie Davis.

“It’s not the place to actually date.” The anthropologist Helen Fisher, who does work for Match.com, makes a similar argument: “It’s a misnomer that they call these things ‘dating services,’ ” she told us.

Sometimes, the researchers offered six types of jam, but other times they offered 24. If you’re on a date with a certain jam, you can’t even focus because as soon as you go to the bathroom, three other jams have texted you. One way to avoid this problem is to give each jam a fair chance. ” Then you keep hearing it and you think, “Oh Drake, you’ve done it again!

When they offered 24, people were more likely to stop in and have a taste, but they were almost 10 times less likely to actually jam than people who had just six kinds to try. Remember: Although we are initially attracted to people by their physical appearance and traits we can quickly recognize, the things that make us fall for someone are their deeper, more personal qualities, which come out only during sustained interactions. Zajonc have established the “mere exposure effect”: Repeated exposure to a stimulus tends to enhance one’s feelings toward it. In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the University of Texas psychologists Paul W. Hunt suggest that in dating contexts, a person’s looks, charisma and professional success may matter less for relationship success than other factors that we each value differently, such as tastes and preferences. ”In a way, we are all like that Drake song: The more time you spend with us, the more likely we are to get stuck in your head. After all, the odds are it won’t be a love connection.

” “Have you ever traveled around another country alone?

” and “Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?As Christian Rudder, an Ok Cupid co-founder, tells it, women who were rated very attractive were unlikely to respond to men rated less attractive.But when they were matched on Crazy Blind Date, they had a good time. Rudder puts it, “people appear to be heavily preselecting online for something that, once they sit down in person, doesn’t seem important to them.”Some of what we learned about effective photos on Ok Cupid was predictable: Women who flirt for the camera or show cleavage are quite successful.“They be called ‘introducing services.’ They enable you to go out and go and meet the person yourself.”What about those search algorithms?When researchers analyzed characteristics of couples who’d met on Ok Cupid, they discovered that one-third had matching answers on three surprisingly important questions: “Do you like horror movies?Remarkably, almost 70 percent of gay and lesbian couples met online, according to the Stanford sociologist Michael J. And Internet dating isn’t just about casual hookups.

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